"Outrunning the Calendar of My Plans" (Jan. 2009)

I remember at a young age thinking about how far off the year 2000 was and how old I would be when I got there. I realized the other day as I wrote "2009" on a check for the first time that we are nearly a decade past that milestone.

Although I spent all that time planning out my whole life back then, I think I stopped mulling any details much beyond the more-distant-than-I-could-imagine 2000. Since the annual flipping of the calendar gives us a somewhat artificial milestone to reflect on the past and plan for the future, I found it amusing that I have now outrun most of my childhood imaginings.

And in particular, how far I've wandered from any of those things I had imagined, as a 8-year old, or a 20-year old. The things I've forgotten from elementary school, the things that I went into college assuming would happen. The life that I so enjoy leading is a lot different than anything I imagined.

Plans are wonderful road maps, but maybe fall short as benchmarks to measure one's life against. We might miss appreciating a life well-lived because of the boundaries of expectations placed all around it, long in advance of arriving at those moments.

I've had cause to ponder this over the holidays. In the folk world, we just lost a giant angel in Vic Heyman. Vic exemplified a long life well lived and loved, with a richness and generosity of spirit as well as a passion for the music. And one of my guitar students lost his mom to breast cancer - a long hard struggle fought with grace and dignity to the very end. Yet again, mourning a life cut way too short and the hole left behind.

The point in all this is that we simply don't know how the story will play out. Each of us faces an infinite combination of infinite possibilities, with the only fact known in advance is that there is a tangible beginning and end to the corporeal nature of the human journey. I suppose that I try to bear as little regret for the past as possible, choosing instead to use it as guidance to live well in the present and do better for the future.

We do indeed face uncertainty ahead, the magnitude of which many of us have not known during our corporeal lives. It is easy and natural to let fear and apprehension have a place at our decision-making table. Prudence and caution are valuable allies in times like these, when the economy threatens to take down so many of the walls and windows we've labored so hard to build.

But fear and apprehension should not be THE decision makers. Part of our internal council of wisdom? Absolutely. Just not Commander-in-Chief. Think of all the times in life when we have made a spontaneous decision and been surprised weeks or months later at the intriguing chain of events it set in motion. They aren't all winning lottery tickets, and some turn out just plain badly. (My decision to make a cup of coffee while finishing this essay instead of waiting til done is just the most immediate example - where are those paper towels?). But as I am fond of noting, "life is stranger than fiction, and that's what makes it so worth living".

So as this milestone passes and 2010 looms at the end of this calendar, I'm resolving to worry less about "what gets done when" than the "what might come to pass from a handful of plans and seeds". I have lots of music, stories and images to share with you. There is music to make, and new technologies to share new projects and new types of projects. There is little required of me to do it other than time and some travel.

By reading this far and allowing me to stay in touch you are already opening possibilities for the unexpected to happen. Whatever those possibilities are, probable or remote, I am optimistic that something good will come of it. These hard times will not last forever, and we know not what the future will bring. Onward then, to face the mystery. I'll pack my guitar, camera and notebook, and look forward to meeting you along the way. Thank you for reading!